Mil-Spec Interview

Mil Spec are one of the biggest, and in my frank opinion, the best hardcore band from Toronto. They've spent the past year opening for local heavyweights No Warning and Fucked Up, and have been putting on for Canada on the US festival circuit. They just dropped a spectacular EP Changes on Lockin' Out Records and it fucking rules. I got a chance to catch up with Mil-Spec's drummer Jacob Hellas at Not Dead Yet. We spoke about festivals, opening for legends, and the Axe to Grind podcast. Check it out.

Photo cred: Angela Owens

So, Jacob Hellas...

Jacob Hellas: Jacob Hellas and I play in Mil-Spec. I play drums.

You guys have been playing festivals all over North America recently. What's one thing that Not Dead Yet is really good at?

JH: Okay. Not Dead Yet is good at doing mixed bill type line ups, and bringing in bands that Toronto doesn't normally get to see. Unfortunately, just because of the fact that we're in Canada, it's a real annoying thing for American or International bands to come north of the border. There's all sorts of problems, and if you've had any sort of challenges you can't come. There really aren't that many markets to make a tour worthwhile. I mean you have Montreal, Toronto...

Maybe Ottawa?

JH: Maybe Ottawa, and then like, Vancouver. There's a couple different places, like Edmonton, but it's so much driving. So I guess to go back to your question, the best thing about Not Dead Yet is it brings bands here that just wouldn't come otherwise. Which sucks, cuz that's the only time that bands will come, really. Tomorrow, for example, Unified Right is playing. The last time they played here was 2013, and it was in Welland. It was part of a tour that Fury and Unified Right were doing. They played a bunch of dates on that tour. But that doesn't really happen anymore, because every city has its fest. It's good that they come, but it sucks that they don't come any other time.

True. What's one fest idea that you think Not Dead Yet should steal from another fest?

JH: Oh man. One thing... I understand there's two different types of festivals. One, you're in a big room all day. Kind of like the This is Hardcore model, which I'm not saying is good. But I do think that maybe less is more when it comes to festivals. I think that America's Hardcore does it really well, in that there's two days, two matinees, two evening shows, and there's no overlap. 

No driving around?

JH: Yeah, no driving around, it's all across the street from each other. It's really convenient. So maybe steal that, like, less is more. I know he's scaled it back a little bit. And you've noticed with this show, the shows are cheaper, but yeah. Less is more is an idea they could steal from America's Hardcore for example.

Sick man, thanks. So what does it feel like to play with bands such as No Warning and Fucked Up, that are legendary?

JH: Yeah, so the No Warning thing was really cool. We played twice with them and it's really surreal. I think Fucked Up was more surreal for me than No Warning was, even though I really like No Warning. Fucked Up is one of the very first actual hardcore bands from here I ever got into. I was into metal as a kid, and into punk as a kid, and into metalcore as a kid. Then when The Chemistry of Common Life came out, MTV Canada was playing songs from it. I saw that and was like "this is insane", and I've been a huge fan ever since. I'm the person in the band to be asking about this, I think, because I collect all the records, like all the 7" 45s. I've spent way too much money on all those.

Yeah, there's so much of that stuff.

JH: Yeah, I have a big collection. I'll show you it. But yeah. It's crazy to be playing multiple dates with them. And it's not even No Warning and Fucked up, it's just in general the idea of having opportunities to play with people that you look up to, or meet people that you look up to, and see them on an even playing field, as your peers, is really, really cool.

Yeah, that is cool. Have you picked up anything from them?

JH: Yeah, there's like a friendly rivalry that comes from playing with any other band. If they play before you, you try your best to outplay them. There's a little bit of competition. I think watching other bands, especially being in this band playing shows, made me a better drummer. I've never drummed in a live band before, even though I was playing drums as a kid. I think watching Fiddlehead in Boston made me a better drummer. Definitely watching Jonah in Fucked Up over that tour will make me a better drummer. Hopefully we learn a little bit about professionalism from them. I think we can pick up some stuff, and how to demand respect when we deserve it. Because when you're given opportunities at like a small, sort of DIY level, you've got to demand respect when you deserve it. So I think we'll learn some stuff from them. 

That's sick dude. So you guys got an interlude on your EP from Fantasy Camp. Where did that idea come from, and how did it come together?

JH: So we're all into different types of music. I know Fantasy Camp does hip-hop, but the interlude is very ethereal, electronic type of stuff. Very chill. I do electronic side projects and stuff like that. Originally, I had the idea to put something in one of the songs. When we were recording, at the studio called Candle -- a bunch of bands record there, mainly like indie bands and shoegaze bands record there, Fucked Up even did a lot of their new album there --  and the guy who owns it has a collection of analog synthesizers there. So I was fooling around with them and stuff, but it just got to be a bit of a time-crunch. Also, the guys were like, "it would make more sense and be better for us to have a collab," like a feature. It brings more attention to it and also brings somebody else in the fold.

Yeah, somebody else's ideas.

JH: Yeah, right? So I'm gonna do more electronic stuff later on, but yeah, so...

Would you ever do hip-hop?

JH: I mean like in Mil-Spec. So for example, we're using drum machines on our next thing. So yeah, they asked Fantasy Camp. They decided to go with him because they know he does beats and stuff. We don't know him at all. Like we're friends now I guess, we don't really talk much. We like his music a lot. We bump Fantasy Camp and Wicca Phase, and like Lil Peep in the car all the time. He was just a logical person to ask. We paid him, he sent us some stuff, we went back and forth, gave him some suggestions, he changed it and sent it back. So yeah, it was cool. I think it makes that second side more cohesive and puts the songs together.

Yeah man, I feel you. I like it a lot actually, I think it's pretty cool. Who do you think in your band is most likely to moonlight as a Soundcloud rapper?

JH: So Dan, or Xan Darrah as we like to call him when we're joking around, he's done that kind of stuff before. We all sort of have side projects, can I use this time to plug some stuff?

For sure man go nuts.

JH: LaForge, he does creative writing. Andrew does a lot of visual art. He's also in Demolition, whenever they get back together. Dan has a lot of solo stuff that he does under different monikers. So Blue Moon is sort of like country stuff -- Dan's the guitar player by the way -- he's done some Soundcloud-esque style rap stuff, with my buddy Scott. They've done a couple songs that are out on Soundcloud now. They're okay. I think to in order be good at that, you have to really be in it. All the people that are big, like even Fantasy Camp included, does that stuff over and over and over again, and Dan and Scott have done like one or two songs. I'd be curious to hear what their tenth song sounds like, because I like this one, but I think should just keep doing it. Even though it's a side project, you've gotta be like fully in it, I think. I do like electronic stuff, metal stuff. I've been fooling around, I haven't released anything, but I've been doing some techno stuff, like very rhythmic dance music. We're gonna put some of that, I think, on the next Mil-Spec thing. We've talked about doing a Mil-Spec EP that's all like acid house, and just releasing it as Mil-Spec. Maybe doing a show where it's just that and we don't even really play. 

Just kind of sit there and vibe?

JH: Yeah, just kind of sit there and vibe, and like DJ it. It'd be kind of cool.

Yeah. So what's next for 2018 and beyond?

JH: So we've been writing a lot of songs. We're going to be on a compilation that Advanced Perspective is putting out. I don't know what it's called yet, and I don't know if I can say the other bands on it, but it's going to be us and some of the other Advanced Perspective bands. We're all doing original songs just for that. We also have written a bunch of other songs for like our next EP, we're gonna do like a 12" EP. Hopefully we'll record it early in the new year. We're all pretty busy, until we're playing FYA in Florida in January. Until then we're pretty busy, maybe we'll do it like in February. We recorded our last EP in February of 2018, so I think recording the next EP a year later...

That makes sense.

JH: Yeah, like February or March, so we'll get it out around the same time again, summer 2019. We've talked about going to Europe. It's been offered to us. We've talked about doing Japan. We wanna do everything. We wanna play everywhere. Again, I keep talking about doing that little acid house side project. We wanna do a single. We were talking about covering a Tragically Hip song, releasing it as a single, and donating all the proceeds to Gord Downie's charity.

I would fuck with that heavy bro, I love the Tragically Hip.

JH: It's like one of their faster songs too.

Which song?

JH: "Heaven is a Better Place Today"

Oh sick. So last question; what are your thoughts on the Axe to Grind Podcast, cuz they've shown you a lot of love.

JH: Yeah, totally! Bob's a great guy. By the time this comes out it will definitely be announced, but on December 8th we're playing Jersey Shore. He's booking us with Fiddlehead and a couple other bands. The lineup is really stacked, I just can't remember all the other bands. So Bob's a really great guy. The podcast is a little bit of a divisive topic within the band. We do love it, but you know... Matt and I are both Patreon subscribers, and I listen to most of the episodes that come out, like almost all of them. Like I said to you earlier today, I enjoy listening to podcasts at work, cuz it's a good way to pass the time. Axe to Grind is interesting, I like their banter. I don't know if I would get along with all of them in person, but I like when different opinions are on the board, and I think it's good that there is a hardcore podcast.

Yeah man.

JH: The format is cool. The episodes are a little long (laughs) but I think some people like that. I would like to hear more interviews done, more special guests all the time.

Did you listen to the one with the dude from Burn?

JH: I didn't listen to it yet, the last one I listened to was the one with the dude from Candy. I haven't listened to it in a couple weeks.

 The one with the guy from Burn is more of an interview, it's a little while back. You would like it.

JH: Was it with Chaka from Burn? That would have been insane. No, but Axe to Grind is good. Shout out to Bob, for sure. I like him a lot. We text memes back and forth sometimes. Yeah. Any other questions?

Nah man, that's it!

JH: Yeah so, I enjoyed that, thoroughly.

Yeah me too dude, good catching up!

Tashme Interview

Tashme play Vevlet Underground at Not Dead Yet. Photo by Angela Owens

Tashme are a hardcore punk band from Toronto. They're trebly and fast, but with enough crunchy parts to keep the dancers entertained. Their lyrics are angry but thoughtful; evoking a spectrum of political and emotional imagery in a few sharply chosen words. Tashme just dropped a self-titled EP on Bandcamp, and the accompanying 7" will be out soon through High Fashion Industries. I recently spoke with them at local hardcore festival Not Dead Yet about the fest, their new EP, and some other stuff. Enjoy.

You guys wanna introduce yourselves?

Lautaro: I'm Lautaro, I'm the vocalist.

Matt: I'm Matt, I play drums.

Campbell: I'm Campbell, I play bass.

Jackson: I'm Jackson, I play guitar.

You play a twelve string!

Jackson: I play a 12-string. I got it to be a softie. It works out pretty well for the hard stuff too. It thickens it up nice for a four piece. It's hard and fun.

Matt: Rather than having two guitars, we have one with 12 strings.

Jackson: That's the better reason. Yeah. (Laughs)

 So how many years have you guys played Not Dead Yet so far?

Campbell: So with this band, it's been two or three now, but I've played Not Dead Yet every year in different bands, and I think everybody's kind of in the same boat there.

So what's your favourite memory of Not Dead Yet?

Campbell: Shit 

Matt: I've got a good one. So, I think it was the first time I went out to Not Dead Yet, and I would have been about 15 or so? I was taking antidepressants and drinking, and I ended up putting a bunch of pins in my face during Gag. No one was moshing. For some reason the show was like completely empty, there was two other shows happening the same night. By the end of that show, I think a couple a big group of people were heading into that venue saw me, and were like "what the fuck happened to you?" I was like "hey man, it's a punk show". That kind of set off my vibe for Not Dead Yet. 

Campbell: I think in general, kind of what you were saying in terms of us being younger and in high school, us getting to see bands like The Rival Mob, or getting to see Omegas play at Soybomb at three in the morning, were very formative punk experiences. And it's been great the older we get as well, but I think those first few years were like a really big deal for us. Especially playing those years and being on the fest was a really big deal for me when I was like 17. 

Lautaro: In recent memory, my favourite set was Una Bestia Incontralble playing Soybomb at an after party. It was like the craziest thing ever. But I guess Not Dead Yet's best memories are about hanging out with your friends and seeing people that you know from out of town come through, and just hanging. 

You guys just dropped an EP on Bandcamp. Can you speak about the recording process?

Lautaro: Yeah, so we recorded at Boxcar Studio in Hamilton. We just did it in one afternoon, and rushed and played a show in Kitchener that night. 

(Laughter) 

Campbell: I forgot about that!

Lautaro: We had the songs written for a long time, and we just kinda got there and ripped through it really quickly. I think that urgency shows in the sound. I'd hope so anyways.

I know there's rerecorded songs on it, are there new songs too?

Lautaro: The rerecorded songs were songs we released to promote the 7" on a cassette. 

Campbell: We didn't have anything to release for Not Dead Yet last year, so we kinda slapped together a promo tape with three of the songs from the 7" and a Discharge cover, just real quick in Matt's basement. But the plan was always to record those songs properly for the 7". So rerecorded in a sense, but only out of necessity, because we didn't have enough prepared for the year before. 

So the first song on the 7" is a politically charaged song, but it's also a personal matter, I think, for Lautaro, because his family's from Chile. 

Lautaro: Yep.

Can you speak on what the song means from a personal and political standpoint?

Lautaro: Yeah, so basically, the song is about the coup d'etat in Chile, and the dictatorship that lasted after for 15 years. It's about what my parents went through, having been exiled from Chile and growing up there -- where my dad was exiled and my mom grew up there -- and how their traumas impacted my identity. That's the gist of it. It ties into kind of the same thing with the name of the band, Tashme, and Campbell's grandfather being held in the internment camp. 

Thanks for sharing. So you guys are political, those kinds of things impact you. I'd be interested in getting your take on this. The Supreme Court of Canada ruled that lawmakers don't have to consult indigenous groups when they're making laws.

Campbell: I was talking about this the other day. Somebody said, "what the fuck is happening?" and it's the same thing that has always been happening. It's unfortunate and it sucks, maybe it's callous of me and maybe I'm jaded. But I don't think it should come as a big surprise. They're doing the same thing they've always been doing, right? Like I think it's a big deal and it's something people need to keep being aware of and pushing against and fighting against. But, the status quo remains the same at the end of the day, and you gotta keep rolling with the punches and pushing back against that kind of thing.

 Cool, alright, thanks a lot guys.

Campbell: Thanks a lot, buddy. 

Lautaro: Thanks.

Scene Report: 6/30

I've been missing the scene lately in favour of cottage parties, cuz all my normie friends are taking weekends off. There were a bunch of shows last Saturday.

There was an ALBUM release show for a local band in Oshawa. Northshore (Northshorehc on Spotify) at the Moustache Club (RIP!!!). I'm listening now. It's heavy and produced well. Let's see if they have the stamina. Currently on song 3.

A band called Tree Fort put on a house show in North York, too. Last time I went it was all smoke and cologne and blonde women kissing. Some dude stripped down to his underpants and rolled all over the place. I anxiety puked because I had a date the next day. Will hopefully be going back soon.

Update on the Northshore album: they have a chorus that goes "we are the fucking north!" Haha.

Peace,

Vince

RIP XXXTENTACION

xxxtentacion was a great artist for years before his passing. He was more than a hype rapper. His Soundcloud songs had screams and breakdowns in them. I remember listening and being like "yo this is heavy af!", and there were hundreds of people in the comments writing "Free X".

Those comments really tripped me out.

I think the Tupac/Biggie comparisons for him and Lil Peep are inevitable, in memes at least. Dude may be as iconic in real life too. Time will tell. RIP to a talent.

Scene Report 5/27

This is a scene report from my neck of the woods. I had a busy week! I saw two shows, which is a lot for me.

The first was Allergy and Tashme at Faith/Void on Sunday. I wanted to see Tashme because I met Lautaro a couple months ago. I missed them on April 27 at the benefit show cuz I was getting wild in Talla-Fuckin-Dega, baby! They were great on Sunday. Allergy is a tight band who play fast punk, but they have way too many pedals. I was making sour faces during their set, and the guitarist threw a water bottle in my general direction. Coincidence? I wanted to creepy crawl on their pedals. The band might have sounded better.

I overheard some kids talking about a dude who was X'ed up at a show but smoked weed the day before. LOL DRAMA!

The second show was Backtrack et al. at Coalition. It was a pretty hardcore crowd. Hardcore kids are the nicest people, but the crowdkilling is too much for me. There was a guy outside playing a tree branch like a theremin which was pretty trippy. Definitely look for him at the next show and give him a dollar cuz that shit is jokes. Regulate was the band I wanted to see most. I became hip to them after their singer Seb was on the first Axe to Grind. I was gonna ask him about the Migos but I chickened out. Backtrack was pretty good. "Their Rules" went over great live. The other bands were chill I guess.

There was some drama in the parking lot before Backtrack's set. Some dude was going off. Apparently he tries to fight at every show and his girlfriend cheated on him. I certainly don't want it with that man. I hope he overcomes whatever's making him mad.

I finished some album art this week for a project scheduled to drop on June 2nd. It was a favour for an old friend. I'll post it here once it drops.

Happy International Women's Day

This image doesn't match with the visuals of my blog but I don't give a fuuuuuck

I would like to dedicate this special day to a lot of great women. Mostly my mom and my sister. Dr. Jessica Langer deserves a lot of credit for being an inspiration to the women in my class. Those aforementioned women in my class deserve a lot of credit for putting up with Ben and I, as well as generally being awesome. Thanks to all the women in my life.

International Women's Day should be every day, but it's not. If you're a woman, be proud! Today is your day.

The Evolution of Instagram

A post shared by Vince Guglielmi (@spacepope666) on Dec 17, 2015 at 1:28pm PST

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I came late to the Instagram game. I think I joined in 2012. All my friends already had it. I remember my boy saying, “it’s all about what you like, man.” Instragram triggered a weird pattern of behaviour in me. It became all about the two m’s – models and memes. I started taking a lot of selfies, and for some weird reason, I wouldn’t let my followers/following ratio go below 1.

Instagram was different from Twitter and Facebook in that it didn’t reinvent the wheel. There were a million photo-sharing platforms Instagram had to compete with, but some of them were kinda douchey. Instagram was successful because 1) it was primarily a moble app 2) it focused on the “social” part of social media and 3) it simplified the shit out of everything. They made it all about easy metrics – follows, likes and comments.

From this combination of simplicity and visual appeal arose primordial versions of what we now know as “the influencer”. People were thrust into the public consciousness just by having popular Instagram accounts. We knew their faces, fashions and lifestyles, and we also knew how powerful their reach was.

Companies took to Instagram for much of the same reason. Unlike other social media platforms, you could straight up advertise on Instagram and people would react with it in droves, as long as it looked appealing. This really bode well for photographers, visual artists and the fashion industry. Inevitably, strategic partnerships began developing between brands and influencers. This crossover started with detox tea companies (as the old joke goes), but real companies eventually got wise to Instagram’s marketing potential. Somewhere along the way, Alexis Ren ended up in a Hyundai commercial.

Instagram used to be my favourite app until recently, but things have changed. The explore function used to be my favourite. Now for some reason I can’t make it single photo view without clicking on the pictures, and when I click, it takes me to an “explore page” of just that account. Does anyone know how to change this? It’s seriously ruining my procrastination steez/meme dm’ing. I also don’t like the new algorithm-based timeline, I find it buries my friend’s pictures behind all the Tinder bots I’ve been tricked into following. 

The Evolution of Twitter

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I joined Twitter in first year of college, 2009. Twitter was introduced to me in journalism school in terms of its capabilities as a "huge rss feed/wire service". Twitter made it easy to give real time updates on live events, which you could classify using this new thing called hashtags. This was called livetweeting.

If you had a public account, everyone on the Internet could easily access your tweets - a capability that didn't exist anywhere else. You could also personalize your profile to an extent that didn't exist on Facebook, but with less of the options for ugly shit that made Myspace a disaster.

The public relations students at my college were probably learning about Twitter as well. Twitter revolutionized PR. If someone had beef with/questions for a company pre-Twitter, they would have to write a letter to the editor or some shit. With Twitter, people could write literally anything about your company and millions of people could see it just by searching your company's name. I feel like this forced a lot of companies to start using social media. It used to be like the fuckin wild wild west before all these companies figured the game out. You would get real time help and genuine solutions just by talking shit on a company online.

Microbloggers were popular on Twitter. Mans would have all their tweets be about a specific thing, and interested people would follow them. I remember when the dude from "Shit my Dad Says" got a book deal, which legitimized him irl. Funny, cuz nowadays authors are legitimized when they get a blue checkmark on Twitter. How times have changed.

The evolution of Twitter's features/interface has -until recently - been subtle. However the company's "off the field" evolution has been anything but.

Oh dear...

On one hand, Twitter has always struggled to monetize it's success. Plus you have the whole awkward takeover/dismantling of Vine. On the other hand, Twitter has been a key tool in actual political revolutions. It also became a "demilitarized zone" where otherwise boring companies started developing their own voice and even feuding with each other. Twitter's main differentiating factors, the @ and # functions, are now staples across social media.

Twitter changed a whole lot in 2017. The character limit doubled. The Timeline changed from chronological to algorithm based. I'm starting to see garbage in my feed just because someone I follow liked it. Twitter is more and more resembling Facebook to me (aka advertisement soup). I get the feel Twitter may be doing some last-ditch attempt to save itself.

You used to go on Twitter to laugh at dril. Now you go to watch Hamburger Helper combat sexism and see the President of the United States threatening to start WWIII on a daily basis. I honestly don't know what to think of Twitter anymore.

XO Blog Life

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I think I'm gonna start paying for a music streaming service, cuz I don't wanna hear Spotify ads anymore. Should I pick Spotify, Apple Music, Google Music or Tidal?

Spotify

Spotify are industry pioneers and set the standard for what is possible. I also like their brand better. They have a whole swath of influencers, digital media platforms and other stuff outside of streaming. They seem the most genuine in terms of having roots in the industry.

Apple Music

Apple's losing the battle on a music related front for the first time in a long time. Apple music is compatible with my iPhone/iTunes but since I illegally downloaded my iTunes, will it disappear?

There's no free version so I'm not familiar with the interface. It looks pretty good. Is it nice?

Google Music

I've used this shit before and it sucks haha. Plus the interface hurts my brain.

Tidal

Tidal is really pushing the community aspect in your face. It has an entire "Athletic" type platform where you sign up to get quality journalism. Which is a cool idea

Just from the looks and what I've heard, I'm suspicious as all hell, but I wanna bump this one Jay-Z record on repeat.

Which one do you use? Is it worth it to switch from Spotify? Should I even pay for this shit? 

Could I become a legit Gab Troll?

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I recently caught wind of a website called "Gab", which was billed to me as the alt-right Twitter. Twitter has, in my opinion, flushed itself down the proverbial toilet these days, so I checked Gab out.

I know, I know. Gab is a haven for Nazi trolls who caught Twitter bans, but I'm an open minded guy. I'm willing to use anything if it has redeeming value.

So I went on Gab. This is the login page:

Nice. I'm a huge fan of free speech. It's one of the best tools for marginalized people to be heard in society. I'm thinking, at this point, maybe Gab isn't as bad as it's made out to be.

So I go to the Explore function, and college football is one of the topics. Seems innocuous. So I click, and here's literally the first thing to come up:

This got me thinking. Could I become an influencer on Gab by being a vaguely annoying, but loveable left leaning goon? Like Tomi Lahren but progressive and a dude. It would be easy to make a splash. All I would have to do is have crazy takes like "white privilege exists" or "cis dudes privates' smell like cheese" and thousands of people would spazz. 

I could post three times daily, linking to a right, mainstream and left leaning media source, every day. Gab gives me 300 characters to work with. 500 followers in six months would be something to shoot for.

There are some roadblocks tho. Would there be enough left-leaning Gabbers(???) to follow me? I could scoop libertarians on some "open borders for all" trip and evolve from there. Some right-leaning women have been big in the anti-harassment movement, they could be allies too. The risk is that not enough lefties would come over to Gab, leaving me without a support base of serious followers.

Another thing I'd worry about is getting doxxed or harassed irl by some of these so called "free speech lovers" when they inevitably disagree with me. I'm not sure I can deal with that. But it might be worth it to fight the good fight.

I would love to actually try this. It would be a big career boost and maybe I would actually school some racist turds along the way. Is this a good idea? Do you have any good ideas for how I could execute it?

The Evolution of Facebook

Me rn. @twodudesinapool.tv 

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Mark Zuckerberg came out today saying his New Years Resolution is to "fix Facebook", because it's apparently gotten too off the rails with fake news. What a serendipitous time to debut my mini blog series, "Remember When: The Evolution of Social Media." Today we'll focus on Facebook.

Facebook is the most popular social media site, according to like, studies or something. However, it was at one point second most popular, next to MySpace. I got Facebook in 2007, right around the time it switched. What a different time it was!

Facebook used to be all about your friends. They would post statuses and photos, which you could "like". The status bar was locked at "Vince Guglielmi is _______." So, if you wanted ice cream, you had to write "Vince Guglielmi is hungry for ice cream" as opposed to "Vince Guglielmi wants ice cream." Or you could write on your friend's wall and be like "wanna get some ice cream?" Yeah. People used to write on each other's walls. Crazy.

A screenshot from 2007 Facebook.

Business was different too. Pages didn't exist yet, so advertising was much harder. People would create fan groups for their brands/artists/whatever. Fans even ran those groups sometimes. In order to see anything from a group page, you had to be a member of the group. Sharing didn't exist in any capacity.

Filling out your profile used to be a big deal, especially the relationship status part. There were a few options; Single, in a Relationship, Married, and 'it's Complicated'. Imagine hitting someone with the "it's complicated" request? What a savage maneuver. You could also fill out info about your favourite bands, movies and books, which people would spend hours doing.

Facebook gradually started changing, adding third-party apps, chat functions, and pages. Apps were nuts. They used to have all sorts of extra stuff like "pick five lists" where you could like "create your 5-member dream band", and it would show up in your friend's feeds. There were also Buzzfeed-style quizzes for days. Facebook eventually dismantled the ensuing cluster-f***, but not before harvesting all our information, I'm sure.

Fan groups slowly got replaced by Pages, which wasn't a big deal at the time, because most companies weren't smart enough to make fan groups anyways. Looking back, though, Pages were a really big change in Facebook's advertising and community engagement capabilities. At one point, Facebook took the bands and movies people said they liked on their profiles and instantly made people fans of the pages. Savage.

Nowadays, Facebook looks more like a classifieds section than a reflection of anything your friends are doing. People used to post full photo albums of every party they went to, now they share their one curated Instagram post from the party and that's it. When's the last time you wrote on someone's wall, except for on their birthday? In a business sense, the new algorithm seems to have made it easier to buy your way to the top. Facebook isn't even trying to hide that fact. They were practically begging me for four bucks, to boost my post, today. I know you're a publicly traded company with families to feed and all, but like, chill out man.

Despite my whining, I still go on Facebook multiple times a day, as do many other people in this world. The company has created a brand as ubiquitous as Nike and Coca Cola, and I have a hard time believing Facebook will disappear in my lifetime.