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Sunday 31 May 2015

The Triple B: Are you getting enough of them in your diet?

The letter B. It's not all in your face like an A or an X or even those shithead Q's. B is a strong letter, a letter of passion and fire. And what's better than one B? Two Bs. You wanna know what's even better than two Bs. Ladies and Gents, may I present to you, the Triple B.

Now some of you are unfamiliar with the term "triple B" and you might left wondering, "Hey Trey, what in God's name are you talking about?" Without getting too much into the whole theory behind what makes a triple b mesmerizing, essentially, a triple B is what happens when you get three great things that start with the letter B and group them into something almost too awesome to be possible, but not too awesome to be impossibly imaginable. I know we are all a bunch of twentysomething year olds, so maybe you'll catch on once I put some pictures explaining in more detail.

The Classic: Beer, Bourbon, Barbecue


Look at this guy: Camo, check. Beer utility belt, check. Burgers on full blast, check. This guys ready to party. I know you can't see it with the naked eye, but there's a 93.7% chance that some of those pockets are filled with airplane Johnny Walkers. This Triple B has been tried and tested for thousands of years, and no matter how long us humans continue to do it, we will always strive to be kings of the grilled arts. If anyone ever invites you to this sort of gathering, please bring one of the aforementioned items, but if circumstances permit, you may pull a power play and bring the other food-related Triple B, as listed below:

The Fundamentals: Burgers, Brats, and Buns


Ever sit at home and wonder, "Damn, how can I enjoy being an apex predator in the quickest and most efficient way possible?" Look no further: red meat and enriched wheat products eliminate that thought. These are food items that have been evolving through time, constantly on the path to perfection. You see that picture up there? Yeah, if your a vegetarian, TRY and tell me that looks disgusting, I dare you. 

The Rapper's Delight: Beamer, Benz, or Bentley


Three fantastic car companies, a hit rap song, girls who are so shallow that they are impressed with a material possession; this triple B amassed it's own fan base before Mr. Lloyd Banks put a name on it. Now, this triple B did have some turbulence. Back when I was in high school, this song came out, and I swear, the next year, over half the school owned one of these trusty mechanical steeds. But, with climbing insurance rates and gas prices, this triple B was served humble pie at the right time before it got too big for its own good (Thanks BP).

The Dream Girl: Blonde, Big Boobs, Big Butt


Surprisingly, it's much harder to find a PG-13, non-nude photo for this triple B than I originally anticipated. Women of the world, I let you in on a little guy secret: when you catch us checking out a girl and you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier than me?", we say no, and we genuinely mean it....most of the time. Every guy loves a stunning, voluptuous blonde. Don't try and act like you're better than all of us because you think you don't like blondes. You simply haven't seen a true triple B yet, and that's okay. One day you will, and you will remember that day for the rest of your life.

Of course, there's sports: The Killer B's


If you watched even the slightest bit of baseball in the 90's, then you are already well familiar with this triple B. This triple B is so potent, they are dubbed the Killer B's. Anytime you use the word "killer" as an adjective, good chance that shit could get real at any moment.  Large discussion for this triple B stems from the 3rd member. Some say its Lance Berkman, some say Derrick Bell. Either way works for me to be honest. So what did these "Killer B's" do in baseball? Over 5 seasons, Biggio-Bagwell-Bell combined for a 75.1 WAR, while the Berkman version comes in at 52.8 WAR. In leyman's terms, the Killer B's were responsible for 15.02 and 10.58 wins each year. (respectively, of course) Stat Source: CBSSports.com and Baseball-Reference

Well, I hope I was able to give you some insight about the majestic Triple B. Comment below with some of your own Triple B's and always remember: 2 wrongs don't make a right, 3 rights makes a left, and once you see more than 3 B's, just sit down, shut up, and enjoy it.


1 comment:

  1. This is a good Triple B: https://bbbrecords.bandcamp.com/album/americas-hardcore-compilation

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